Balaklava is a town where a highly classified submarine base was located in Soviet times. After the collapse of the behemoth power, everything was quickly plundered. By the time they came to their senses, they turned it into a museum, but it had to be restored bit by bit.
The “Pogrebok” little bar
In town, we dropped by the self-proclaimed “Little bar ‘Pogrebok’”, located at 35 Krestovskogo Street.
The interior, as you can see, is made with humor, the food is wonderful, the prices are good. Exactly what I expected from Ukraine — but only encountered on the very last day. The dried fruit kompot, for one, was so strong and aromatic that it went to my head like wine. Interestingly, regular kompot costs 1 hryvnia (7 santims), while the dried fruit one is 4 (27 santims). Once we discovered this kompot, it gained such popularity in our circles that the little bar promptly ran out of it.
The only complaint is that the cashier could have been a bit friendlier; after all, we didn't leave a small amount of money there, and we weren't acting out — quite the opposite, we delighted those around us with our sparkling humor.
One of the entrances to the base
On the way to Balaklava, we stopped by a winery's brand store
I must say, there's a gazillion wineries in Crimea, and in their brand stores they pour wine and port into special containers on the cheap. Port wine is better bought slightly more expensive, I think it's called "Krymsky", it's tasty (even though I'm no booze fan, as you know), produced by the "Massandra" plant. The cheaper one is called "Alushta", and it tastes worse, but in our opinion, it's quite drinkable. Naturally, this all applies to stuff bought "on tap" at the brand stores. The prices are very kind — starting from one lats per liter for cheap port, one and a half for the expensive one, two and up for dry wine. Also, the stores have a lot of cheap (a lats to a lats and a half), and sometimes high-quality infused liquors and, for example, the "with cognac" series, like "Cranberry with cognac". It has spices, juice, and brandy. It's cheap hooch, of course, but if they aren't lying about the ingredients, it's of decent quality, no artificial additives noticed, purely natural. Not that I'm a huge opponent of chemistry, but it's always nice to see real cinnamon and cardamom on the ingredient list, and no dyes or flavorings.
A view in the other direction of the bay
We swam here, met some locals. They said the water was warm, around 18-20 degrees. I swam too — probably shouldn't have, since I was feeling worse and worse, but I really wanted to, and it did refresh and invigorate me a little bit.
Views of the bay
And more views
Inside the base, solid metal doors
Our tour was guided by a former Russian officer, very detailed, thorough, and interesting. The aborigines who were also present tried to troll him with "we pissed away such a great power", but he didn't bite, and answered provocations by saying he was just a guide.
Unfortunately, my glasses were dirty, I had nothing to wipe them with, and on top of that, I had photophobia for some reason. I felt so shitty that I could barely process anything, and what would have been a very interesting excursion at any other time turned into sheer torture for me.
I did remember some things, of course. Like, the base was built to withstand a nuclear explosion. The submarines, though not nuclear themselves, carried nuclear-tipped missiles and even nuclear torpedoes. (I didn't know such a thing existed). Throughout the entire existence of the base, there were no incidents involving radioactivity. In general, everything inside looks like the game "Half-Life", which is right up my alley, naturally.
More inside the base
It remains to be added that we headed home the evening of that day. During this, half of my face had already gone numb and stopped working, and that is not a pleasant feeling, let me tell you. I already find it extremely difficult to handle travel and lack of sleep, so hard it's tough to describe, and then this bummer happens.
So it's no wonder that already in Lithuania, at a gas station near Kaunas, I think, upon seeing that the toilet was paid and knowing that I didn't have any litas, I stepped aside a bit, behind a fuel tank, and took a leak.
I didn't even have time to zip my fly before a hefty security guard with a flashlight headed my way. He marched me to the register, where all my buddies and the cashier, also a Lithuanian, were hanging out.
There they started extorting a bribe. Vova found this whole situation highly amusing, and he kept saying, "Call the police, since you're threatening." Pasha, on the other hand, started expressing his displeasure that we wouldn't get home on time then, because the gas station was out of town, and everything would drag on indefinitely. As a result, after some hesitation, I gave a bribe of a whopping 10! lats, though I paid by card, hoping to get the money back through the bank. Since I ended up in the hospital upon arriving home, I just said screw it.
But my opinion of Lithuanians as cunning and tight-fisted people who fleece you for cash wherever possible somewhat solidified for me. The guard and the cashier, of course, tried to provide a moral justification for their actions, and I am, of course, at fault, but please understand: if I had litas, I would have paid. I don't consider paying 15 santims by card in an unknown place to be reasonable, because our Arab brothers already scammed me out of 300 lats once, and then I waited half a year for the bank to reimburse me.
In any case, I don't think that extorting a bribe just because I, sick and sleep-deprived, took a piss out of sight in the middle of the night, is the right thing to do.
Let's end the bad stuff there, and sum things up.
Our group turned out to be tight-knit, fun, and compatible; there were almost no conflicts, aside from Vova and Pasha's rare arguments about where to go and where to meet. We could definitely travel together again.
Crimea is not bad, prices are already higher than they once were, but still reasonable. The nature is interesting in places, the Bakhchysarai Palace rocks with its rough style, the cave cities are curious, and the Grand Canyon is just plain excellent. I liked it there the most. The food is usually simple, but hearty and tasty, and often inexpensive. Gurzuf is a beautiful town, the staff at the "Mechta" recreation center is friendly, and the conditions are comfortable.
Overall, you can and should go to Crimea. If you go there after all sorts of amazing places and countries, it might not impress you as much, but for me, for example, I like it anywhere if I'm on vacation, there's nature around instead of a PC, places to walk, and people to talk to.